From the Second Row

It was a Saturday night and we hadn’t purchased our concert tickets in advance, we almost never do and there are always tickets just for us. This time we were treating my parents, adding a little pressure to our usual spontaneity, but within 15 minutes someone had turned in enough tickets that we could proceed into the auditorium. This was a very popular local performance, the symphony along with four vocal talents bringing us the works of Irving Berlin and Andrew Lloyd Webber, the latter being my Mother’s favorite. Of course we were looking for the best seats possible, but with general admission seating and my Dad’s limited mobility we were forced to sit in the second row. In order to get the full view of the orchestra our preference would have been about tenth. I tried not to grouse, but in my mind I was thinking how good could this be sitting so close that I can actually read the eighth notes on the violinist’s music stand? Well my partner leans over to me and says something about us having a much different view of the orchestra from here. I thought about it and before the music began I decided I would choose an open mind about the seating. Then the melodic sounds filled up the auditorium and what a different perspective it was. Truly magical from this place or did I decide it would be. I was mesmerized by the experience of seeing every intricate finger movement and every graceful stroke of the bow gliding across the strings. The vocalists’ interpretations were simply magnetic; their expressive gestures with every nuance brought me closer into their harmonious world, a feeling of oneness with each performer.
As we were driving home I was getting the message that there was something here for me in this experience. It seemed to me that a good number of us spend a lot of our living in a place of analytical speculation or assumption, a deciding how things are going to play out, allowing the auto pilot mode as part of our daily routine. Like a math equation we go through life feeling we must do this plus this to equal what we think is reasonable or manageable, a sort of insurance policy for life. The words satisfactory, acceptable, mediocre come to mind. For me it’s sounding a little “vanilla” flavored rather than a “chocolate moose tracks” kind of life. If the auditorium were empty would I have chosen second row seats? Probably not. In order for me to experience something different, something more, I needed the second row to be the only option, a gentle nudging from the universe. I didn’t choose my experience it was chosen for me, this time, and look at all the goodies that came dripping out. So what if we all made conscious choices without always knowing, trusting in the possibility of creating dark chocolate swirls with peanut butter cup surprise experiences …what kind of richness just might come oozing out of that life? Plain or waffle cone?

Who's In Charge?

Shh!!! I have a confession…sometimes when I am coaching a client one on one, we are not actually alone. Sounds strange I suppose but in reality we all have these internal voices that tell us things that are not true about us. Several different names have been created for this messenger of negative chatter; gremlins, the saboteur, the judge, the enemy, satan, negative ego. Call “it” whatever name fits, for if not managed their chatter keeps tripping us up in our daily lives, keeping us small, holding us back from our bigger selves. This non-loving voice doesn’t offer much discernment when our life calls for risk taking or moving out of our comfort zone. It’s job, so it thinks, is to keep us safe by wrapping us up in a cozy comforter of over cautiousness, raising self doubt, paralyzing our decision making process. Let’s see if this sounds familiar. We start climbing the mountain of fulfillment and as we are reaching and stretching for something more in our lives, almost at the top of the mountain the saboteur’s voice begins its chatter, louder and louder. “You’re not good enough, wealthy enough, attractive enough, experienced enough” or the “shoulds”, “oughts” or “musts” kick in, rules or limiting beliefs that predetermine our response, believing we don’t have a choice. I actually named my saboteur the “Life Ripper”; I think the name says it all…are you getting a visual? One way to deal with your saboteur is to actually create a visual image of “it” and then give “it” a name. This will allow for some creative visualization to deal with your saboteur when you begin to notice its unhealthy presence. You can create a picture in your mind that is quite comical, therefore minimizing the saboteur’s impact. Another diffuser is asking these simple questions, "What’s really true here?" (rather than what do you imagine) So what? (Notice your disastrous expectation) So what? (If your disastrous expectation comes true, what’s the worst that can happen?) What are my choices? (The choices are endless).
Trying on some of these techniques can help you improve your ability to respond to your life, however you choose, without the interference of the saboteur diverting you from the vibrant life you imagine.

Wheel of Life

We all want certain things to be different in our lives. Sometimes we are on a bumpy ride and we just want to get off. In life coaching we use a tool called the wheel of life to identify where the bumps are and through a series of coaching sessions we begin minimizing the bumps for a smooth ride through life. Sometimes we are just miserable, it’s what we know and in a twisted way that seems comfortable. The unknown is where the saboteur moves in like a bull, keeping us fearful and afraid to move forward. People don’t always choose life coaching because change can be a little scary, but with a little courage, perseverance and trust, life coaching can be quite beneficial for living a life of choice and fulfillment. As a life coach, I hold all my clients naturally creative, resourceful and whole and also hold the container for a client's greater vision. I honor that this is your life and you have full choice, I only help you remember the true magnificence of who you are.